All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies, Signs We will Never Marry You

Having lived, dumped, being dumped for the past 15 years in the D.C. area, here are some of the subtle clues for the Washingtonian ladies to figure out their men – particularly, if you want to know whether we are the marrying type or not.

1. Our Buddies Act Distant
Even though our buddies may be friendly enough, they probably won’t ask you many personal questions about your job, interests, etc. The ugly truth: They don’t want to invest time and energy getting to know you because they figure you’re not going to be around very long.

2. We are Hot and Cold on the Phone
We will text you 10 times in a night, then go missing for days. We’ll chat on the phone for an hour, then ignore your messages for the rest of the week. Wondering what the heck is going on? I am going to be brutally honest: We are mostly likely busy dating other women.

3. We plan Ultra-Romantic Dates
A cozy candlelit dinner is nice and all, but if we only take you to secluded places, it could be a tip-off that we don’t want other women to spot us on a date. Next time we ask you out, suggest hitting up a busy restaurant or popular bar and see how we react.

4. Stuff Is Missing from our Facebook Profile
Have we untagged any photos of you and us? Do we post updates often, yet never mention hanging out with you? Is our relationship status hidden? A guy who’s leery of commitment will make sure there are no traces of you on our page.

5. We  Say You’re Soul Mates
Okay, we adore the idea of love at first sight — but too much too soon could also indicate sketchy intentions. If a dude comes on super strong right off the bat, telling you things like that we are starting to fall in love with you, just make sure you play it safe and trust your gut. Those powerful words might be rolling off our tongue so smoothly because we have spoken them so many times before.

Besides, why WOULD you want to marry us anyway? Don’t you watch Youtube?

And, finally for your entertainment:

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5 Responses to All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies, Signs We will Never Marry You

  1. Fari Karam says:

    OMG this is all true . Thanks for making me lough , specialy on # 3 . Keep up the good work , you are doing such a great job cuz. My regurds to the familly

  2. Farhad Niami says:

    What is it with all this “Kiss & Tell”? I thought, if for nothing else, just for the sake of comradery, us guys need not to divulge each other’s secrets!!!! 😉

  3. Susie says:

    What makes you think we want to marry you?!

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