A Text Message To The Retardlicans From Bill Maher

by Elias Shams

In a classic Bill Maher fashion, Bill really ripped into the right, using Tiger Woods’ explicit publicized text message as an analogy.

Maher decided it was time for the Democrats to start getting tougher on Republicans. He pointed to an awesome sexual text message Tiger Woods sent to one of his mistress, which promised rough sexual behavior, as asking the attitude Democrats should adopt from the “lying bullies of the right.”

Hilarious, witty, and needed to be said! Enjoy it 🙂 If the video below doesn’t play, click here on his facebook page.

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The Best Of Bill Maher This Week From The Mind Terrorist To Why Men Cheat

by Elias Shams
I watched this and it is just awesome!

In front of a live audience at the Raleigh Memorial Auditorium at the progress Energy Center for the performing Arts in Raleigh, NC, Bill performed an awesome hour of stand-up comedy. Among the solo special were: whether the “great Recession” is really over; the fake patriotism of the right wing, what goes in the mind of a terrorist, why Obama needs a posse instead of secret service, the drug war, Michael Jackson, getting out of Iraq and Afghanistan, racism, the teabagger movement, religion, the healthcare fight, shy Gov, Mark Sanford will come out looking good, and how silly it is to ask “why do men cheat?”. And why comedy most definitely didn’t die when George Bush left office. Read more…

The Best Of Bill Maher This Week

by Elias Shams
Bill Maher breaks out his new rules on Friday’s Real Time and his final rule deals with politicians who say that Americans are smart enough to see through spin and lies. Maher speaks the truth – it’s amazing that during the information age, it’s still so difficult to get factual information to the public. The facts are that Barack Obama isn’t a Muslim, Saddam Hussein wasn’t involved in the 9/11 attacks and global warming is real — yet somehow, to some, they still remain theories.

Maher:”New rule, politicians must stop saying “the American people are smarter than that.” No they aren’t! If the Bush era has taught us anything, it’s that voters want a president carved in their own image. Someone who doesn’t like to read or believe anything he’s told and is easily distracted by bright, shiny objects.”

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The Best Of Jon Stewart And Bill Maher This Week

Jon Stewart had such an awesome fun with Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, and so DID we 🙂 In this clip from The Daily Show, Stewart mocked Beck for his journal entries on Palin, and compared the two to ‘The Silence of the Lambs. I found it hilarious to see Glenn Beck did the interview in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty, a gift from Socialist France 🙂 , a country in “old Europe”. 🙂

You won’t miss how Sarah Palin was totally creeped out by Beck’s slavish lackyness! I got the feeling Palin didn’t really know who he was outside of the name recognition, and spent most of the hour staring at Beck’s fresh hair. Palin also looking like she smells something really, really bad.

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Those of you still blaming the Left for Palin’s ineptitude, you got to check out this clip of Palin unable to name her favorite Founding Father? Even the conservatives expressing doubts about her. Here is another source from Christian Science Monitor.

Here is a classic proof of her stupidity. Could a person be more inept than this on national television? This incredibly stupid moment was not unlike the so-called gotcha moment with Couric when Palin couldn’t name what she reads. Only this gotcha moment came from a so-called “team” member at Fox News!

Anyway, I think this is awesome News for our country and the world. Palin candidacy as the vice president, he took down McCain, and now her contribution to Fox will shut down Fox for good soon 🙂

And, here is Bill Maher explained why we should move your money out of a “too big to fail” bank and put it into a local community bank or credit union. According to Maher: “This is not a conservative idea or a liberal idea. It’s not left or right. It’s populism at its best.”

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Time For Washington To Invest On Comedy For Our Foreign Diplomacy

I was a 19 year old Iranian when I was drafted to the Iran/Iraq War back in 1983, one of the bloodiest Wars of the 20th Century. Incidentally, the entire world, the former US defense secretary Rumsfeld and his boss, Reagan were supporting Saddam at the time:

A few days prior to one of our major strategic moves, about 200 Iranian soldiers, myself included, were rounded up to listen to an “inspirational speech” from a Mullah and two of his non clerical lieutenants. They were preparing us not to fear death.

The Mullah and his lieutenants started telling us about the heaven, the awesome time we will be having with seventy two virgins, and how desperately the virgins are looking forward to meet us up there. As a typical man, it got me excited first, you know. The thought of 72 chicks 🙂 but the excitement lasted only a few seconds. The though of death, the thought of not seeing my fat mamma, my baby sisters, and fathers anymore, by far were more powerful than anything else. Maybe, if the Mullah had said sex with thousand women, it would have been different story 🙂 But, 72! NO SIR! not enough to die for.

Saeed, the guy sitting right in the middle with the mustache, one of my very good friends made a joke about the virgins as the Mullah was still yapping. He said “wait a sec! but, I want to have sex down here on earth, not up there!”. Although, we were scared young soldiers with the thought of possibly getting killed in a few days, Saeed, me, and five other guys were literally hysterical about the situation. We laughed our pants off. But, this wasn’t a joking matter to them. So, all seven of us were yanked out of the unit and sent to the Army prison for a week because of the laughter. The punishment wasn’t really a week of going to prison, the thing is for every week of going to prison during the service, the Army added one additional month on top of our standard two years. Once released; sadly, we found out 125 other soldiers in the units were killed in the attack.

Neither I nor any of my other six friends would have fallen for the sex with seventy two virgins crap anyway, but the joke totally made one of the lieutenant and most of the surviving soldiers in our units rethink our motivations. We all continued talking and laughing about it for a few months. I am certain the lieutenant who was an ideologically changed man with fresh ideology was able to influence others in the system as well. I never saw him again. If he is still alive and reads this, I wish him well. As for my friend who made the joke, regretfully, he lost his life 3 months later in another attack – in fact a chemical attack, (the materials were given to Saddam Hussein by the US Government, and I think the Germans, to be more specific, the Dow Chemical Company).

About 2 million people including my very close cousin who was an army parashooter were killed during the 8 year war (1980-1988):

Curious as to what this personal story has anything to do with current U.S. State Department initiatives and diplomacy?

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The Best Of Jon Stewart And Bill Maher This Week

As I promised last week, here are the best of Jon and Bill this week 🙂 Both of them picked the subject that is right up our ally here in DC.

Jon Stewart couldn’t resist taking some shots at our sexy White House Budget Director Peter Orszag‘s sex scandal.

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As for Bill, I am having a tough time to find his latest online. Not even from his own site. So, for now I just post the ones that I think they are really funny regardless of the date. If you find a way to find his latest, please let me know. Here is one of Bill’s latest about Van Jones, the Obama Adviser who resigned for getting cut saying “Republicans are Asshole”:

Here is one for week ending Jan 3rd, 2010

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Laughing Our Way Through Politics – Our Jon Stewart & Bill Maher

I have learned the best way to address sensitive issues related to politics, religion, etc is often through humor. Liberals have nailed this format, with real star power in the form of Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Steve Colbert, both on TV and on the radio – as in Air America.

My two favorites have to be Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and Bill Maher of Real Time with Bill Maher I only wish they were Washingtonians so we could relate to them more via my blog.

But hey, Jon is a New Yorker, so close enough. Besides, most of their best coverage takes on politics and politicians in Washington, dc. And, THAT, my friends, must be reason enough to cover them in a blog dedicated to our nation’s capital.

I have decided to add more juice to my blog by posting Stewart and Maher‘s best clips on weekly basis. So, if you missed it on HBO or The Daily Show, you can catch it here. And we can go nuts on the comments section together.

Here is a classic old one from Bill Maher:

Here is my most recent favorite clip – Jon Stewart taking on the NeoCons in
DC about their failed War on Terror:

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